CrossPointe Community Church: Corinth, TX

An Open Letter to Wives

The following is a letter from Laura Dao, wife of CrossPointe Elder, David Dao, with her thoughts on being a Godly wife.  Pastor Brian shared this letter in his sermon on Sunday Jan. 29, 2012.

Proverbs 21:19

19 Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.

Proverbs 25:24

24 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Do’s and Don’ts for Women when it comes to marriage submission

Don’t:

 Nag

 Criticize

 Compare your husband to other men

 Cut him down (especially in front of others)

 Point out past failures

 Expect Him to be like you....would you really want to be married to you?

Do:

 Trust God first and completely

 Pray for your husband

 Encourage your husband

 Allow him room & opportunity to lead

 Ask and receive his feedback on decisions you have been taking initiative on –whether it is in parenting, work situations, or personal struggles/behavior. Trust that God has placed him as the leader of your home and will give him the wisdom he needs.

 Openly discuss decisions and be completely honest, but speak with love (this often requires prayer and a look at your own heart before confronting difficult discussions). Submission does not mean silence – rather it gives freedom to be completely honest and open with one another as trust is built.

 Be the touch of God in his life – this requires that you are in the Word and prayer regularly.

Overall we need to recognize our husbands are different than we are (Praise God)! They have different needs than we do. They need our support and encouragement. They need us to allow them the freedom to lead. This freedom means that sometimes he will fail (just as we do as well....we are both sinners) and he will need forgiveness and grace.Proverbs (see above) speaks of a nagging and argumentative/bossy wife as someone no man wants to live with. Men who have to live with wives that constantly nag often do leave....mentally & emotionally. A man who is constantly criticized will “check out” eventually and assume he is better off not leading or being involved then being constantly told he is doing it wrong. So be gentle and allow your husband freedom to lead – and he will be more likely to be present with you and the kids.